Updated: Feb 2
What is confidence these days?
The dictionary seems to state that confidence is belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.
But is that how we see it? Do we rather see it in the way that we appear or the way we approach things? Is it in our personality or how we present ourselves?
Do we even know what confidence is anymore?
Who are we to judge someone else’s confidence? And whether or not they are classed as “confident”.
We are all conditioned to believe we have to live up to be something society labels an ‘image’. This 'image' is supposed to give someone confidence. Therefore how you present yourself will automatically put you into a category in someone's mind according to how you ‘look’.
Therefore things like if you wear all black; you’re depressed or emo, if your skirt is too short or a little bit of skin is showing; you are being inappropriate. You are not wearing makeup or doing your hair; you don't care about yourself or letting yourself go. That girl over there with short hair must be lesbian, that guy over there wearing a dress or tapping into their feminine side must be crazy or confused.
All of these things are based on how society and the world around us have over many years created labels associated with how people are presented. We then use this to judge a person or to label someone based on how they present themselves.
But is this really how we should base our assumptions? Judging a book by its cover? Come on we all do it.
I guess that is because it’s something we are surrounded by constantly, it's what we are taught and it’s the way society has conditioned our minds to think. Could we even imagine life without a judgemental eye? Letting someone be who they want to be, look the way they want to and not have any judgement or opinion towards that person.
Maybe not straight away but one thing I do know for sure is that we can control our minds, and change the way we think. Some people like to sit there and say “No, I don’t judge” but we all have thought processes about someone, therefore even though it’s not spoken out loud doesn’t mean you haven’t thought of something.
Everyone has something they do daily that creates confidence within themselves, something they do before they step foot out the door, whether it's within your daily routine of getting ready, whether you read quote's, exercise, meditate, plan your day in advance, even some may play the music that gets them ready to face the day, or simply just believe “today is going to be a great day”. Would we even then notice if someone had a drastic makeover and did something different or do we just get so involved in ourselves that we wouldn’t even notice people around us?
I reached out to a random selection of people asking them what confidence is to them… many of which state things that are similar to others. Some people take pride in how they look, some work on themselves to be a "better version" of themselves, some don't even know how to feel confident because they are scared of being their true selves. One particular response really stood out for me and it was this: “I am an incredibly confident person. None of which comes from my appearance. I am confident because I respect myself, I like who I am and am proud of myself. I think I am amazing!” how inspirational is that? How many of us can stand and say that?
We have all been through things that shape who we are and create the person we are today. We all have battle scars and we all have insecurities. But if we were to be facing the world in a room on our own with no one to impress, no one to influence your decision, how much better would you feel about yourself? and who would you present yourself as?
Unfortunately, the world isn’t like that... It’s a scary place where people will judge you, but we can all constantly work on ourselves to find the version we want to present ourselves as and this will always change and that's ok, it's all part of the Journey.
The beauty of it all is that we make the decisions!
All I want to say is do things that make you truly happy with yourself, trust your own abilities and be assured that you’re the person you are today by choice. Don’t let others influence your decisions, be your own confidence!
Social platforms, magazines, television and the world around us keeps training our minds to compare our lives with others rather than seeing our own independence and being confident in our authentic selves. We just have to re-train our minds to think differently and that's not going to be easy.
It's no wonder we live in a world where many people are suffering from severe depression associated with physical, mental and emotional insecurities.
I know I can't change the world, but what I can do is use my skills to change it one haircut at a time. Saburi Hair is where I feel comfortable creating a space that accepts people for who they are. It's a safe environment where they feel comfortable expressing themselves without judgement. Saburi Hair would love to take you on a hair journey creating hair that gives you confidence, allowing you to step out of your comfort zone. We really like getting to know our clients on a deeper level that allows us to understand, why they want the hair they want. We also create a space so that if they want a change, they are comfortable enough to express what they want knowing we will support and guide them through it. ,
For me, I notice how much hair can create confidence in my clients and that is why I am so passionate about creating a space that can hopefully make my clients feel confident with their hair.
Written by Chantelle Nydal